Tim.0 – Sandwiches in a can and soap box racing (Tim’s Blog)

My apologies for the 2 week absence from the Condors blogosphere. Since I didn’t receive an influx of emails (just one actually…you know who you are) or calls inquiring about my whereabouts I’m assuming most of you actually enjoyed my short sabbatical. But, just like my parents found out when they changed the locks after my departure for college I always seem to find my way back.

Since we last spoke a lot has happened in our world. A new Condors assistant coach was announced, the Alaska Polar Bears/Card Suits added more hardware, Oprah quit and the world almost came to an end. But, in an age where we are inundated with all sorts of news there still may be important stories that you missed. So, here is a random sample of stories that I would kick myself if I didn’t tell you about…

Number 5… Hold onto your Capri Suns and string cheese folks! Your favorite American sandwich is now available in a CAN!…. As if it wasn’t bad enough that your mom always put too much jelly on your Rainbow White Bread you now have to bring a can opener to school just to get your hands on that soggy mess.

Number 4… If you didn’t think the former California Angels and now the “Anaheim Angels of Los Angeles and the Greater Orange County Metropolitan Area” were geniuses before…than feast your eyes upon this world record breaker that they concocted last week. So, in an effort not to be outdone by our neighbors to the south the Bakersfield Condors and their fans will be attempting to break the record for “Most Wrestling Singlets Worn for the duration of a Hockey Game while eating nachos”….dates and times TBD.

Number 3… Mothers Day came and went….and this lady wins the prize for Mother of the Year in my book. Is Dad taking the photo?

Number 2… The dancing rat looks like he has gotten himself into some legal trouble. And, for those of you that thought it would be from the health dept for Chuck trying to pass off tomato paste on cardboard as pizza you’d be wrong. It’s actually because your kids are learning to be degenerate gamblers by playing incessant amounts of ski ball. I personally still prefer DZ’s at Discovery Zone…

Number 1… From our Los Angeles bureau… a major upset took place at the 2011 Red Bull Soap Box Race. The favorites going into the race ‘The Flying Scotsman’ (including the man- the myth-the legend- Matty Kislig) hailing from the under belly of Fountain Valley, Ca came up a bit short but still placed a close 3rd. If you haven’t heard this epic race is now considered more redneck than NASCAR so my hope is that I will be strongly considered as a lead driver in next year’s event.

Until next time…

Tim Statezni is the Director of Marketing and Promotions for the Condors. His blog comes out every Friday… give or take a week or two.