Comments: Since you like the Charlie Sheen idea, why not follow up with this:
Bin Laden Game Day:
1.Bring a bomb and your bags will NOT be searched at the door.
2.Bring a terrorist and get a second ticket for $1.00
3.Bring Bin Laden himself and get a check form the US Treasury for $21,000,000 (roughly) and not only can you own the Bakersfield Condors but have the money to run the franchise for a very very long time.
Reply: So let me get this straight, an evil terrorist mastermind that orchestrated literally thousands of deaths worldwide is now equal to a crazy actor who got fired from his highly-rated TV sitcom?
-The Mailbag Guy